Sometimes I feel that I feel too strongly. I truly wish I didn't, but I can't help it. I wish I was one of those lucky souls who could float through life, living it unexamined and unreflected. But that's not who I am or how I operate. My tendency is to get tipsy (sometimes, not always) and contemplate my life and my past, often in relation to songs or books or ideas that I hold dear. It's what leads me to go on a frenzy, downloading sappy Coldplay songs and contemplating past loves and past failures.
Does this get my anywhere? I wish I did, but the answer in my heart is a resounding "no." My Jesuit instruction upholds the importance of self reflection, but all that self reflection gives me most of the time is a paralyzing fear of both the past and present. It does not lead to any promised clear thinking or path of certainty towards the future. It's a terrifying way to live... Even with people that I know love me and that I love back, I lack the requisite feeling of security to go "confidently in the direction of my dreams." (Thanks for nothing, Thoreau).
Now, after all of this worthless, masturbatory sharing of feelings, I feel nothing but embarrassment for not sticking to the purpose of this blog, which was to share my ideas and opinions about current events. Ugh... Please maybe stick with me as I get my act together and make this blog something worth reading. In the meantime, I'll try to focus my thinking on more productive ideas and ways of thinking.
Peace out and be well, my friends.